The teacher is asking a geography question:
– Mary, where is the English Channel?
– I don’t know. We can’t get it on our TV.
(English Channel = Lamanšský prieliv)
The teacher asked a student, “John, name two pronouns.”
John, who suddenly woke up, said, “Who, me?”
The teacher said, “Today we will review our tenses. Now, if I say ‘I am beautiful’, what tense is it?”
A student replied, “Obviously the past tense.”
The family overslept, and their six-year old missed the school bus. Her father, though late for work, agreed to drive her if she’d direct him. They drove several blocks before she told him to turn, then many more blocks before she indicated another turn. This went on for 15 minutes. Finally the reached the school – which proved to be only a short distance from their home.
Asked why she’d directed him such a route, the child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, and it’s the only way I know.”
A young student at the university was attending a lecture which bored him, and after about half an hour he rose from his seat without a word to the lecturer, pushed pas his neighbours and made for the door. He had nearly reached the door when the lecturer called after him, “Mr. X! Come back! You’ve forgotten something.”
“What?” asked the departing student
“Your manners,” replied the lecturer.
WHEN I GROW UP…
English children have their say on the way they see the world. How they see the future:
WHAT DOES THE GOVERNMENT DO?
“Fight over who is going to be Prime Minister next.” – Michelle, 10
THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN
“I might lose my teddy.” – Lavinia, 9
“If my wife left and it snowed all year.”
“I will enjoy being old because people help you a lot and they care for you by giving you big Easter eggs.” – Jennifer, 9
“I would not like to get old because then you’re afraid of dying.” – Roland, 10
THOUGTS ON GOD…
“Sometimes we think God is unkind if someone dies but we have to make room for other people.” – Beth, 11
“I am a Punk. I think I would like to grow up like this. But my mum would shoot me probably.” Elizabeth, 9