FUNNY QUOTES / Humorné anglické citáty

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  • I feel like such a failure! I’ve been shopping for over twenty years, and I still don’t have anything to wear!
  • I do not want to brag, or to make anybody jealous or anything, but I can still fit into my earrings that I wore in high school!
  • Photography is the only hobby where we can shoot people and cut their head off legally.
  • Synonym is a word used in place of the one you can’t spell.
  • Let’s eat grandpa.
    Let’s eat, grandpa.
    Correct punctuation can save a person’s life.
  • Money talks, they say. All it ever said to me was Goodbye. ~ Cary Grant
  • I have never let schooling interfere with my education.
    Nikdy som školám nedovolil, aby sa mi plietli do vzdelania.
    ~ Mark Twain
  • I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated and jumped up and down for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.
  • If being awesome was a crime, I’d be serving a life sentence. –
  • A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. – William Arthur Ward
  • “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” ― Charles Dickens
  • If your boyfriend wants your breast, thighs and legs, send him to KFC. You’re a lady, not a cheap value meal!
  • “We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does.
    Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining- they just shine.” – Dwight L. Moody
  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other one is husband…
  • Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    If you can’t eat it or play with it,
    just pee on it and walk away.